


in a foreign place (are you happy now?)

by ryneisaterriblefan



Series: happy now? [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Drinking to Cope, Friends With Benefits, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio Fight, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Smoking, Talking, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, or you can interpret it any way, talking at night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 00:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19240153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryneisaterriblefan/pseuds/ryneisaterriblefan
Summary: So long as I'm here, you will be the strongest.The words feel like a mockery in his ears.





	in a foreign place (are you happy now?)

**Author's Note:**

> so! this is quite short, but there's another sequl coming up! this is just mostly kageyama's view on the other fic in this series, but it's the first part (that's why its short) and hopefully a second part will be up by the end of next week!

 Tobio’s happy—as much as he can be anyways. He yells at Hinata, and Hinata yells at him. They live together, and Tobio cooks for him. Tobio wakes up on the floor with Hinata snoring above him in the mornings.

 

 Tobio doesn’t want to admit it. Admit that he and Hinata are growing apart, that Hinata seems distant and snappy, that they’re having fights about things that are too simple, things that could easily be talked over with.

 He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong.

 Tobio fears that Hinata, the first person he trusted, will leave him, that he’ll say one day, ‘I don’t wanna play volleyball with you anymore.’ Logically, he knows that’s next to impossible, but there’s this fear that slowly consumes his heart when Hinata storms out, yet again, out of their tiny apartment after another argument.

 Usually, Tobio waits for him to come back, usually just goes on with whatever he’s doing until Hinata comes back and they look at each other and ignore each other as a mutual agreement.

 Today, Tobio slams the door to their apartment, pulling on his shoes and going to the nearest bar to get his mind off things.

 Once he gets there, he gulps down the drinks he ordered—the bartender looks at him once, then turns to give him what he’s ordered—and tries to forget. Tobio doesn’t really like drinking, mostly because he needs to stay healthy for volleyball, but he does sometimes to forget things that make him want to rip his heart out and scream until his lungs are dried out.

 The club is loud and noisy, and normally Tobio hates that kind of loudness (not Hinata’s, his treacherous brain reminds him) but Tobio lets the music and noises of the club distract him as people around him yell and dance.

 Tobio doesn’t, though; and he half-thanks himself for that because someone stumbles over to him; and at first he doesn’t recognize the person over the dim of the club, and only when he speaks does Tobio know it is.

 ‘King,’ Tsukishima half-slurs, half-drawls, and considering his huge crush on Hinata Tobio really can’t justify his brain thinking Tsukishima’s hot.

 ‘Tsukishima,’ Tobio says, tense and eyes raking over Tsukishima; the blond’s brown even taller, much to Tobio’s distaste, but otherwise he looks almost the same as he did back in high school.

 ‘Come home with me,’ Tsukishima says, eyes half-lidded and Tobio knows he shouldn’t accept, knows that it’s probably going to make things a lot more complicated, but—

 —but he’s so tired. Tobio’s so fucking tired of waiting for Hinata to come back, he’s tired of raging at himself in his head and trying to calm down when Hinata’s around for the sake of their friendship.

 So he holds out his hand and lets Tsukishima lead him out of the club into the cold night air.

 

 (Tobio doesn’t admit to himself that Tsukishima looks too beautiful stretched out on the sheets underneath him.)

 

 Tobio wakes up first. He gets up, dons one of the t-shirts lying around (probably Tsukishima’s) and wanders around, exploring the house a bit and settling in the kitchen. He cooks.

 His cooking is decent, because Hinata can’t cook eggs to save his life and Tobio’s been cooking for himself ever since his mother left home to live in Tokyo. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the thoughts.

 ‘King?’

 Tobio doesn’t turn back. ‘Hey. I should’ve asked, but I figured you wouldn’t mind me using your kitchen.’

 ‘It’s fine,’ Tsukishima says, sounding disoriented, and the scrape of a chair against the tiles signify that he’s sat down. ‘So, what’s prompted your Majesty to cook dinner for a commoner like me?’

 Tobio rolls his eyes. ‘Force of habit.’ He doesn’t expand, and Tsukishima doesn’t ask.

 There’s silence, and Tsukishima dozes off as Tobio goes around and pours a glass of milk for both him and the other.

 They both sit in silence. Finish their meals. Tsukishima gets up to do his dishes, and Tobio—Tobio needs _something_.

 So he stands. Stands and he’s wrapping his arms around the taller as he’s in the middle of washing his plate.

 ‘King?’ The voice comes uncertainly, and Tobio just holds on.

 ‘Wanna stay like this,’ Tobio mumbles, ‘I don’t wanna go home.’

 There’s a pause, and for a moment, Tobio thinks that he’s going to be turned away, so that he has to go home and face Hinata, to see the other boy’s face—

 ‘Okay then,’ the blond says, ‘Stay.’

 Tobio mumbles a thank you into his shoulder, and for once he thinks he can almost feel Tsukishima’s smile.

 

 (It’s different. It’s different from when he and Hinata share beds, because there’s always a mountain of pillows between them—and with Tsukishima there’s no barrier. They wake up tangled together sometimes, and when Tobio goes home—rarely running into Hinata—Tsukishima’s always there to welcome him if it’s needed.

 There’s countless times when he’s been drunk, stumbling to Tsukishima’s house instead of his own. After one incident, Tsukishima’d handed him a key and mumbled something about people thinking he was taking in random drunk people. Tobio doesn’t miss the concern in his voice.

 But—they settle. Tobio spends more time at Tsukishima’s than at his own, and when Tobio swallows his high-school pride and asks for Tsukishima’s help, the blond’s actually helpful.

 They cuddle and go to sleep together. Tobio tries not to think about how it feels more natural to wake up with Tsukishima now than Hinata.)

 

 It’s late. It’s late enough that even the night itself is silent, and there’s nothing but the gentle brush of the wind that taps on Tsukishima’s window. The shadows stretch, and Tobio thinks he can see Hinata’s smiles in them. Tsukishima tells him he’s going crazy.

 ‘I don’t know,’ Tobio says in frustration, ‘He and I used to be good.’

 ‘That’s what everyone thinks,’ Tsukishima hums, nestling his face into the crook of Tobio’s neck.

 ‘We thought we could take over the world,’ Tobio mumbles, ‘Look how that turned out.’

 ‘Terrible, I presume.’

 ‘Shut up,’ Tobio mumbles, turning around so he’s half-lying across Tsukishima. ‘It’s different now. We’re always yelling.’

 ‘That’s not a change, but okay,’ Tsukishima says, but his face softens a second later. ‘I once promised him to be his best friend forever. So you’re not the only one with broken bonds and half-assed lies, king.’

 Tobio sighs. ‘I—sorry.’

 ‘It’s weird hearing you apologize. Stop it.’

 Tobio levels a glare down at Tsukishima. He smirks and kisses Tobio.

 The room is dark. There’s a single beam of light from the window, and Tobio scowls at it lands on Tsukishima’s eyes and make them glow gold.

 (He realizes only the next morning that it’s the first time gold didn’t remind him of Hinata.)

 

 The times Tobio goes back to his apartment—it’s not the best. Hinata yells, and Tobio yells back. Hinata throws things in rage, and Tobio sometimes ends up with bruises that have him wincing and groaning about to Tsukishima.

 Hinata doesn’t care. He screams that they’ve fallen out, screams that he doesn’t need Tobio anymore. Tobio, in turn, spits out words he doesn’t know he’ll regret or not. Hinata storms out.

 Rinse and repeat.

 There’s times they barely get along, and then they answer each other in short, clipped words and phrases. And then—Tobio’s clawing at hope, but hope isn’t holding on.

 

 **[Kageyama]** _practice?_

 **[Kageyama]** _hinata answer me_

 **[Kageyama]** _how r u_

 **[Kageyama]** _dumbass_

There’s a time when Tsukishima tells Tobio to just move in. He’s tired of Tobio not paying rent and buying his own groceries, the taller grouches. Tobio doesn’t miss the smile that graces his lips when he says yes. (Not that it was ever a question.)

 Tobio curses, almost throwing his phone to the ground. Hinata’s reading his messages. He’s not replying.

  _Of course_ , he thinks bitterly, _of course Hinata wouldn’t want to talk to an idiot like him._

 He’s never—Tobio’s never done anything to make his own health worse. He’s always tried to stay in shape. For volleyball. But now—now there’s nothing.

 He takes out a cigarette from Tsukishima’s beside drawer, and goes out to smoke. Tsukishima’s never smoked in the building, unless he’s on the balcony. Tobio lights it up, takes a drag of it.

 It’s horrible. It’s bitter and disgusting, and Tobio wants to spit it out and never have it in his mouth again. But he steels himself. Takes another whiff, gagging.

 After all, this is—relieving. There’s disgust and smoke to focus on. There’s _something_ to take this thoughts away from Hinata.

 

 (Tsukishima wordlessly buys more the next time he goes out.)

 

 Tobio remembers. He remembers the way he and Hinata had stood, tall and proud, when they had won Nationals in their third year. A grand occasion, Oikawa had mocked them. Tobio knows him well enough to know it’s his form of a congratulations.

 He remembers the day he perfected a new toss, remembers the way Hianta’s eyes had shone and he yelled, ‘So cool!’ loud enough to raise the dead. Remembers Hinata being so proud of him.

 Remembers when they had promised to take over the world together.

 

 Tobio goes through college. He doesn’t have friends, and that’s okay. The only person he’s ever needed was Hinata, anyways. He studies. Now that he’s gotten volleyball out of his mind, he does well in almost all his subjects.

 Tsukishima helps where he can.

 ‘You work this out with the substitution,’ he explains, leaning over to Tobio’s side, ‘Then you substitute the original and you get the anwer.’

 ‘Oh,’ Tobio mumbles, ‘Yeah, thanks.’

 A hum, and then Tsukishima doesn’t say anything more. It isn’t until he’s scooted his chair entirely beside Tobio and his warmth is radiating directly on Tobio’s right side that he notices how close Tsukishima is.

 ‘T-tsukishima,’ Tobio gasps, as the blond kisses his shoulder, then his neck, ‘What—‘

 ‘Bored.’

 ‘My homework,’ Tobio says, though he’s fighting to keep his voice steady.

 ‘Do it later,’ Tsukishima growls—and Tobio’s gone.

 He succumbs to Tsukishima’s kiss and then—it’s scary how used to this he’s become.

 

 Tobio’s happy—as much as he can be anyways. Tsukishima’s there for him, and he is, in turn, for the taller. They live together, and Tobio cooks for him. Tobio wakes up tangled with Tsukishima in the mornings.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao what is with me and songfics 
> 
> title from 'happy now' by zedd and elley duhe
> 
> feel free to leave constructive criticism!


End file.
